Thursday, August 26, 2010

Attack of the zombie children

Some of my customers choose to write their own obituaries. This is fine with me since it means less work. I do wonder sometimes, though, if people are really reading what they’re writing when they turn in their obituaries or if they’re just trying to make what they send in sound eloquent and/or educated. One of the most common sentence structures used in obituaries (at least in South Louisiana) goes something like this: “Jane Doe was the fifth of eleven children born Aug. 1, 1925, to the late John and Susan Doe.”

Do you see the problem? Not only was Jane the fifth of 11 children born on the SAME DAY to John and Susan, John and Susan were already dead when they were having these children. Therefore Susan gave birth to 11 zombie children, lol. And good grief, by the time Susan gave birth to those 11 zombie children, they must have been walking out on their own.

They should have said something like this, “The fifth of 11 children, Jane Doe was born Aug. 1, 1925, to John and Susan Doe who preceded her in death.” Or better yet, leave off the “preceded in death” part and include that information with the section where you list the people that preceded Jane in death.

Have you got any amusing headlines or stories to share?

1 comment:

  1. My parents and I always joke about this one obituary that was in the Lawrence County Press when we first moved here. Apparently this woman "married her late husband."