Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Attack of the Cable Company

Since the respondents to my poll were overwhelmingly in favor of a crazy call center story, I decided to go ahead and post it a little early. This took place while I was working for a call center which handled everything from after hours cable/utility calls to taking orders for infomercials.

Me: Thank you for calling [Cable Giant]. My name is Katie. How may I help you?

Caller: That (expletive) cable company is out to get me! They're only playing sounds in Spanish! I want my (multiple expletives) money back!

Me: I'm sorry this is happening. Please let me collect some information so I can let the office know you're having a problem.

Caller: No you stupid (bad word for female genitalia that starts with a c). I want my money back. I know they're doing this on purpose. They've been out to get me ever since I canceled my HBO.

Me: Please don't use such language or I'll be forced to disconnect the call. Let me collect some information and we'll try to get you back to normal, okay?

Caller: Okay.

Me: May I please have your name? address? phone number?

Caller provides information.

I walk them through the steps to turn off the SAP function on their cable box. (The SAP function allows Spanish language subscribers to hear dialog in Spanish when possible)

Caller: Well, I'll be! It's a miracle. How could this have happened?

Me: Not a problem - I'm glad we were able to get it fixed. Someone probably pressed the wrong button on the remote control.

Caller: I'm the only one here but for my eight-year-old autistic kid. I know it wasn't me - it must have been him. BRANDON! Get your a$$ in here! I'm gonna beat your butt! You broke the t.v.!

I then try and (POLITELY!) persuade the caller that there is no need to beat an autistic kid's butt. I think I was successful - they were a lot calmer when they finally hung up.

Can you imagine being ready to beat an autistic kid's butt because of something they may or may not have actually done? Crazy.

Have you had a nightmare experience with a customer service rep?

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